By MARK NEWMAN Courier staff writer
December 23, 2007 11:41 pm
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FREMONT — Some years, Denise Day’s Christmas tree has multi-colored lights. One year, she tried all white. But with the second deployment of the 833rd Engineer Company, she did the tree up in all blue lights.
“When the boys are gone, it’s like the song says. A blue Christmas,” she said over the weekend.
The “boys” are both of her daughters’ husbands, one stationed in Ft. Riley, Kan. and the other serving with the Iowa National Guard’s 833rd out of Ottumwa. Though with different units, both sons-in-law are currently in Iraq.
“My mom’s pretty much been my rock through both deployments,” said Elizabeth Mason, 23, of Ottumwa.
She and her husband, Sgt. Robert Mason Jr., 26, have one little boy.
“[Mom] helps me so much with Robby,” she said.
Grandma and the 4-year-old were at playing a computer game at Day’s Fremont home. Robby spends time at Day’s when Elizabeth is at work.
The holidays are especially tough for 833rd families, Elizabeth said.
When Robert Mason Jr. returned from Iraq the first time, the couple moved out of their apartment and into a real house.
“This was going to be the first Christmas together in our new house. We were going to decorate, put up a real tree. But this has put a damper on that,” she said. “It’s hard. Really hard.”
Thinking about Christmas without her husband seemed daunting.
“I got pretty ‘bah humbug.’ I wasn’t even going to put up a tree. But my mom kicked me in the butt and said, ‘You have a 4-year-old!’ We put up the half-size [artificial] tree from our apartment. I put up some lights, and Robby helped me decorate.”
Though Day did have to give her daughter a little push, she understands the feelings.
“Part of your heart is in Iraq,” she said.
She supports both her girls by speaking with them daily, sometimes 10 times a day. Elizabeth, it’s more like 20 times a day that they talk on the phone.
“I feel bad,” Elizabeth said to her mom as sleet fell outside the living room window.
“Why?” asked Denise.
“Because I put so much on you,” Elizabeth said. “I call you crying or angry ...”
“That’s what moms are for,” Day answered, before explaining to the Courier, “All my life, that’s all I ever wanted, to be married and have children. I have two beautiful daughters and three beautiful grandchildren.”
Day said her other daughter whose husband is in Iraq will be coming up from Kansas, so the house should be pretty full today. Elizabeth said staying in Ottumwa tonight doesn’t seem like a good idea.
“I’m going to spend Christmas Eve here. I just think Christmas morning would be too hard. We’ll stay here so I don’t have to get up and be depressed.”
It can’t be easy on the troops, either, she knows. Their 4-year-old will ask to speak to Robert, Elizabeth Mason explained.
“He’ll say, ‘Daddy, can you fly home today?’”
Grandma sees this, too.
“It’s hard enough for adults to understand,” Day said, “but he (Robby) says, ‘I hate my daddy’s job. I want him to come home.’”
“Do you want to tell [the Courier] how much you miss Daddy?” Mason asks Robby.
“I miss him a lot. I love him a lot,” Robby says, before explaining, “He works in Iraq.”
Mason said the sergeant really likes being in the military. When asked if he’ll finally get out when he comes home this time, she rolled her eyes.
“He just re-enlisted for another six years,” she said.
But she admits she knew what she was in for when she married him: A career man who wants to put in 20 years.
“I love R.J. and stand beside him. I support him in everything he does.”
She said that means at times, it’s her job to be “the backbone” at home.
In order to stay in touch now that a community donation has run out, she said Robert has to take $125 a month out of their account to pay for Internet access. That’s a lot of money to pay, Elizabeth said, but the alternative is worse.
“It’s our communication, like a lifeline, so we’re going to pay for it,” she said.
This will be their first Christmas apart as a married couple.
“Last deployment, they got him home for Christmas, then he went to Iraq,” said Mason.
And he just had a brief leave at the end of October. Still, when other soldiers come home to their families over the holidays, she feels a little envious, she admitted.
“But in the back of your mind, you know they deserve their time, too.”
Mark Newman can be reached at 683-5358 or by e-mail at mgnewman@mchsi.com.
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